Just Like The Movies....

8:52am
B-Trip: Home

Some D's are just rarin' to go. No nuance. No interest in being coy...

I've just unleashed a highly-efficient carpet bombing that exhausted my entire armory in about ten seconds.

Just like that. Quick. Easy. A snap.

But was it a little too easy? Surely that can't be everything. Perhaps there's a SigAlert in my sigmoid colon. (this bit of esoteric Southern Cali humor is brought to you in part by El Pollo Loco!).

So I sit.....waiting.....but nothing ever comes.

I could have been on my way like a certain Bruckheimer movie. But no, I spent the next five minutes convinced something else would happen, but it never did.

The entire experience is a lot like shooting a movie. After all the time spent lighting, grooming the stars, arranging the extras, choreographing the camera moves, etc. it's finally 'Go Time'. Once everyone is in place, the director calls "ACTION!"

And every once in a while...it all goes perfectly.

The actors nailed the scene. The sound guy is happy. Camera is, too. Everyone huddles around the video playback monitor to watch the take because, c'mon, could it really have been that easy?

But it was. It just worked out. That shot will definitely be the one used in the movie.

But without fail, the 1st A.D. will toss out: "Wanna get one more? You know...for safety?" The director will comply (after all, by now everyone's in place to do it again).

So you do it again, but this time someone in the background stumbles.

CUT!!

Take 3: A plane flies over, rendering the actors' dialogue useless.

CUT!!

Take 4: Someone's cell phone rings, throwing everyone off.

CUT!!

You spend another ninety minutes trying to recapture the magic of that first take. Eventually it makes no sense to continue so you move on and wonder why you just wasted all that time.

D's like this one have Hollywood written all over them.


3:55pm
B-Trip: Home

If you ever want to get depressed, read today's LA Times article about Jim Carrey.

Yes, he's got a terrible movie opening today (a mere 9% on rottentomatoes.com), but that doesn't warrant this piece about his efforts to "define the universe".

That's something I wish he'd be doing on his own time. Once he defines it I'll be all ears, but for now, in my newspaper or at the multiplex, I'd prefer he just make me laugh. He's got unbelievable talent as a performer, but comedic ability is quickly tarnished if your audience comes to equate you with somber topics.

Just ask the least funny comedian on planet Earth.

And I don't want to get personal, but if you're searching for the meaning of life...is Jenny McCarthy really the person you want riding shotgun?

She's messing with you, Jim. Cut her loose and cheer up.


9:59pm
B-Trip: Home

Freezing outside tonight. That's the reason Elle & I keep the Vornado heater in the B-Trip.

It's always there when you need it to makes your D warm & toasty.