A Few Good D's

8:00am
B-Trip: Home

A strange, suspicious Morning D. Slimy and viscous like Texas tea.

Oh...is that 'TMI'? Feel you're entitled to a little discretion on my part?

Then consider yourself Lt. Daniel Kaffee to my Col. Nathan Jessup. Because clearly you can't handle the truth.

You need to understand something, we live in a world of walls. And behind those walls people Take D. And who's going to write about it? You? You...Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You scoff at my frankness, and you curse the details. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that my D, while nasty, probably saved lives; and the candor of my description, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want to Take D -- you need to Take D. I use words like "honour," "B-trip," "Morning D." I use these words as the backbone of a life spent defecating. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to censor myself for anyone who logs on and snuggles under the blanket of the very 'D-tails' that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide them. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you fire up that laptop and start chronicling your well-mannered and respectable D's.

Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!


8:10pm
B-Trip: Home

One of those D's that won't let you leave.

All I want to do is go. I've long since achieved Nirvana and need to get back out to the world. But no. "Not so fast", my stomach keeps cautioning, "There's more!"

Again, it's stinky, slimy, and reluctant.

What did I eat yesterday? It had to be the spaghetti & meatballs I had at a friend's place last night. They were delicious ...and unique: Instead of marinara sauce, he used a' bubblin' crude. It's what you might call the road less traveled, and I'm quite certain it made all the difference. With a capital D.

And if you care to go full circle...what movie was my friend a producer on?

Yep.

A FEW GOOD MEN