The Tao of D

8:08am
B-Trip: Home

At times, D's can be spent in deep concentration. In today's hectic world, where else does one find the opportunity to reflect upon and ponder life's philosophical mysteries?

Yoga class?

Too much activity.

Church?

Too many old people.

Camping?

Now you're just being silly...how would I charge my iPod?

Traffic may be your best bet, but achieving a Zen-like serenity can be difficult when THE BLUE-TOOTH MORON IN FRONT OF YOU WON'T MERGE OR TURN OFF HIS BLINKER!!

So in addition to the obvious physical comfort Taking D provides, there is a mental (and some might even say 'spiritual') component. In truth, what other daily routine virtually guarantees a few moments of uninterrupted silence during the day? There are no ads (save the easily-ignored "For a Good Time, Call...." campaign). And any distractions (newspaper, cell phone, etc.) are on your own terms since you must bring them in with you. Best of all, everyone vying for your attention at home or in the office typically has the good sense to wait until you emerge: More centered, more focused...and no longer enveloped in an unholy fetor. In effect, one's D creates a force field, keeping the rest of the world at bay. For those few moments, you can be alone with your thoughts. Or, if your thoughts scare the crap out of you (figuratively), you can always do a Sudoku. Either way, it's just you being you.

But Kenny...you say, breathless...this is a 24/7 world! There's a heavy price to be paid for tuning out, even if it's just for a couple minutes. I understand that concern. However, I disagree. It's why our forefathers created the 'Taking D Exception' which, admittedly, is one of their lesser-revered accomplishments compared to, say, the 21st Amendment (which, of course, repealed the 18th Amendment, thus allowing us all to get wasted again! Mmmm...sweet, sweet ratification.), but it dates back to the Magna Carta.

Surely you've noticed that negligence due to smoke break, doctor's visit, or even jury duty is often treated with scorn, while Taking D seems an acceptable excuse for any absence:

"Where were you?!! We're been looking all over. Mrs. Cubbison went into cardiac arrest!"

"I was in the bathroom."

"Oh, okay. Well...help me wheel her downstairs."